I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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