What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize