i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
