You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
