whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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