Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
