Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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