And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
