What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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