Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
