It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
