i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sobbing to NWA
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
