we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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