I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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