i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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