his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
