not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
