I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
