So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
