I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
