I just threw up on my dentist
Farmville is her only friend.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize