Only a mothe r could love this liver
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
