i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
