i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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