He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
