Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
