What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize