Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
