If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
