Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
