Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize