well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
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Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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