I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
