my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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