ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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