you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
