I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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