yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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