Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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