Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
