i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
