i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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