benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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