I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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