I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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