It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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