I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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