Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
