sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
