And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
