hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
