My Higher Power is John Stamos
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize