Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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