hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
