I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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